For several months now, I have been in a process of reflection and redirection. One of my mentors likens it to the transformation from chrysalis to butterfly when the caterpillar is stuck in the goo. I have been stuck in the goo. It has been a strange in-between time where I have not been before, unclear about my dharma. Frankly, it’s freaking me out a bit, and it’s especially disconcerting as I actually help other people get out of feeling anxious and stuck.
Fortunately I have been able to step out of the goo by getting out in Nature; walking in the Presidio or with my dog on errands; sitting in meditation at my altar in the morning and gazing out the window at the trees and the sky, feeling the warmth of the sun (or staring at the rain).
For a time I was listening to podcasts when I walked. I was totally late to the podcast party so I felt like I had to catch up on a lot of content. Now I have kind of ditched that practice because I find the constant chatter of podcasts drowns out the quieter voice of intuition; it interferes with the wisdom that is revealed by Mother Nature through the sights, sounds, smells and sensations experienced when I am fully present. For me, being outside is calming.
All of this makes me want to get back to our farm in Maine but that’s another story…
During this time, my guides have been journaling, meditation, yoga, messages from spirit, mentorship and nature’s medicines. Some of this is new to me and some of this guidance and practice has been part of my life for a long time. My favorite current practice is one I borrowed from Elizabeth Gilbert and Glennon Doyle. Every morning, I get still and quiet and from that place, I ask, “Spirit… what would you have me learn or know today?” Sometimes an answer arrives immediately and sometimes I have to sort through some noise, but there is always an answer. I write it down in my journal and hold it as an intention, or vision, for the day or broader. I am grateful for all of my guides but particularly this journaling that keeps me curious and open to the messages from my higher self.
Are you feeling like you’re stuck in a metaphorical chrysalis, unsure of when you’ll emerge? Are you feeling in a shift or transformation and if so, who or what is with you in this sacred space of change? Is being in this place creating anxiety and worry?
I wonder who or what is guiding you?